FOOD HUMOR

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 The Problem with Speaking English
  1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
  2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
  3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
  4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
  5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR COMPILED BY DAN WORONA. WORONA'S WEB SITE IS COOKIN'.


FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR

I have spent more than 55 years collecting FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR, DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES, USA HUMOR (all categories), and MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR (in Spanish).

1. APPETIZERS ARE LITTLE THINGS YOU EAT UNTIL YOU LOSE YOUR APPETITE.

2. EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY, FOR TOMORROW WE DIET.

3. A very clever T-shirt saying, protesting the barbaric practice of clubbing baby seals: CLUB SANDWICHES, NOT SEALS.

4. THE BEST THING FOR A PERSON ON A DIET TO EAT IS LESS.

5. FOOD RIDDLE: WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A THOUSAND YEARS WITH A THOUSAND CHOCOLATE CAKES?
A: THE START OF A NEW MILLENNI-YUM-YUM.

6. FOOD JOKE: NAME THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS.
A: FAST, FROZEN, JUNK  AND INSTANT.

7. THE TROUBLE WITH BUYING HEALTH FOOD IS THAT ITS HIGH PRICE REALLY MAKES YOU SICK.

8. BOOKS FOR COOKS: ITALIAN FOOD by ANN CHOVY, MINNIE STRONI, LIZ ANYA and LYNN GUINI

9. Book: NO MORE LEFTOVERS by M.T. POTTS

10. Foodie: HE'LL EAT ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T EAT HIM FIRST.

11. Crazy: HE'S TWO SANDWICHES SHORT OF A PICNIC.





Here are a few samples from my world famous DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES WEBSITE:

1. THERE ARE TWO  KINDS OF PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN'T EAT TO EXCESS: MEN AND WOMEN.

2. MORE DIETS START IN DRESS SHOPS THAN IN DOCTORS' OFFICES.

3. THE BEST THING FOR A PERSON ON A DIET TO EAT IS... --LESS.




FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR

SILLY FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR / HUMOUR & JOKES: a 55-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona.

1. MANKIND IS DIVIDED INTO TWO CLASSES: THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR FOOD, AND THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR APPETITE.

2. THE BEST WAY TO SERVE LEFTOVERS IS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

3. A NICKEL WILL GET YOU ON THE SUBWAY, BUT GARLIC WILL GET YOU A SEAT.  --Old New York Proverb

4. THE BEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT GRAVY IS THAT IS HAS NO BONES.

5. "I AM A VERY PICKY EATER. I ONLY LIKE ONE THING... FOOD!!!
Woriginal by Fatty Daniel Worona
(He never met a food he didn't like.)

6. IT ISN'T THE TRAVEL THAT'S BROADENING... IT'S ALL THAT RICH FOREIGN FOOD.

7. THE ONLY FOOD THAT NEVER GOES UP IN PRICE IS FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

8. CONVENIENCE FOOD IS ANYTHING THAT'S AT THE FRONT OF THE REFRIGERATOR.

9. MEALTIME IS WHEN THE KIDS SIT DOWN TO CONTINUE EATING.

10. Kitchen sign: THE EARLY BIRD COOKS HIS OWN BREAKFAST.

FOOD JOKES:

Q: What's the difference between a professional poker player and a large pepperoni pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: Why does a Mexican weather report make you hungry?
A: Because it's chili today and hot tamale!


CORNY CORN JOKES:

Q: What did the flying corn brothers say to the audience at the circus?

A: We Will A-Maize You

WORD OF MOUTH: Please tell your friends about this Web site and about my DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES Web site listed below.

Don't forget to check out my very popular more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS  and DIET JOKES Web site: A 55-year plus collection by Daniel Worona.  Just click on this "HOT" (active) link: http://danworona.50megs.com



COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR sayings or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit. (Credits may be found on the FAVORITE LINKS PAGE.)

Are you hungry for more FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR? Please return again and again, because I will be adding FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR from time to time.
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" / "Rare Bird" (a.k.a. DaWor)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

(This is a 55-year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published.
IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!)
He has "searched the world" for more than 55-years for diet humor / humour, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons,  and  diet word plays.
NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS NONESUCH DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.

This is the FATTEST and best diet humor / humour collection in the world!!!
TO MY ENGLISH FRIENDS:

Please e-mail me some BRITISH FOOD AND DRINK HUMOUR.
Please visist my DIET HUMOR AND CHOCOLATE HUMOR website: (The number one DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES website in the world): www.danworona.50megs.com 

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for nearly fifteen (15) years.


WORST CASE SCENARIO:

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?  Not me!   YOU DO!!!   BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.

SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. 


MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:
Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.