FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR
SILLY FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR / HUMOUR & JOKES: a 65-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona.
1. MANKIND IS DIVIDED INTO TWO CLASSES: THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR FOOD, AND THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR APPETITE.
2. THE BEST WAY TO SERVE LEFTOVERS IS TO SOMEONE ELSE.
3. A NICKEL WILL GET YOU ON THE SUBWAY, BUT GARLIC WILL GET YOU A SEAT. --Old New York Proverb
4. THE BEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT GRAVY IS THAT IS HAS NO BONES.
5. "I AM A VERY PICKY EATER. I ONLY LIKE ONE THING... FOOD!!!
Woriginal by Fatty Daniel Worona (He never met a food he didn't like.)
6. IT ISN'T THE TRAVEL THAT'S BROADENING... IT'S ALL THAT RICH FOREIGN FOOD.
7. THE ONLY FOOD THAT NEVER GOES UP IN PRICE IS FOOD FOR THOUGHT.
8. CONVENIENCE FOOD IS ANYTHING THAT'S AT THE FRONT OF THE REFRIGERATOR.
9. MEALTIME IS WHEN THE KIDS SIT DOWN TO CONTINUE EATING.
10. Kitchen sign: THE EARLY BIRD COOKS HIS OWN BREAKFAST.
Q: What's the difference between a professional poker player and a large pepperoni pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: Why does a Mexican weather report make you hungry?
A: Because it's chili today and hot tamale!
CORNY CORN JOKES:
Q: What did the flying corn brothers say to the audience at the circus?
A: We Will A-Maize You.
GOODIE FOODIE JOKIES:
Q: Why do they call them "s'mores"?
A: Because you always want you always want some more!
A QUORNY JOKE:
If I discovered a new animal I'd call it a Quorn to mess with vegetarians.
If you eat too much curry, you get into a Korma.
Q: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
A: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
What cheese is made backwards?
Nutella: A reason to buy bread.
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
BIG BERTHA WORDS OF WISDOM:
People are lot less judgemental when you say you ate an 'avocado salad' instead of a bowl of guacamole.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
RED HOT MEXICAN FOOD:
Do people who go to the gym to "feel the burn" know nothing of Mexican food?
Q: What does the dish scrambled eggs and brains have in common?
A: Ignorant people!
"I would like my pizza to be 1/3 Hawaiian, 1/3 meat-lovers, and 1/3 vegeterian," ...said the zombie.
I love coffee. It's Redbull for old people.
WEIGHT LOSS SLOGAN:
“Give Up The Fat, Watch Your Belly Go Flat”.
There are approximately 45 seconds between "I'll make us an omelet" and "We're having scrambled eggs.
CHUBBY WUBBY SAYS: Tomorrow is a big day for me at work. They are refilling the snack vending machine.
Baseball is my favorite sport, because you can play it on a professional level with food in your mouth.
DIET COKE JOKE
Diet Coke: Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.
Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
CHEESE PUN / JOKE:
Two cheese trucks ran into each other. De brie was everywhere.
FORTUNE COOKE JOKE:
Q: What kind of cookies make you rich?
A: Fortune cookies!
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It's very time consuming.
TUTTY FRUITY JOKE:
Q: What fruit do you eat when you are sad?
BIG MAC JOKE:
OVERWEIGHT MAN SAYS: My annual performance review says I lack "passion and intensity", guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac.
I can't wait for Valentine's Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me.
HEALTH NUT JOKE:
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my salad?"
I asked my friend a question while he was eating an orange, but all I got was a pithy response.
Q: What's the best thing to put into a pie?
A: Your teeth!
Q: What did the Dorito say to the other Dorito.
A: I can't tell you it was too cheesy.
CANDY BELLY LAUGH:
Q: What is an alien's favorite candy?
A: A Mars bar!
KIT KAT JOKE:
People who say that their wedding day was the best day ever have obviously never had two Kit Kats fall out of a vending machine.
A NUTTY INSULT:
"Could you take a couple steps back. I have a nut allergy."
What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? I'm bacon!
HAVE ANOTHER NACHO… JOKE:
If you weigh 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos you will be 1% nachos!
FAT BOY JOKE:
My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos.
HAWAIIAN PIZZA PUN:
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
A cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremely slow motion.
A CHEESY JOKE:
BIG BERTHA JOKES: I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said "WHERE"?
THE HAPPY ROMAN JOKE:
Q: What did Spartacus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing. he's gladiator.
FUNNY FOOD JOKES:
KID'S FOOD JOKES:
What's the worst thing about being an octopus?
Washing your hands before dinner.
Q: What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate too fast?
Stop goblin your food.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What did the hungry computer eat?
Chips, one byte at a time.
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the cheesecake.
LOUSY COOK JOKE:
LOUSY COOK: I trained my dog not to beg at the table.
FRIEND: How did you do that?
LOUSY COOK: I let him taste my cooking.
FAT KID FOOD JOKE:
ADULT: Why do you eat so fast?
FAT KID: I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.
NOSEY ROSIE JOKE: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
LIL: Would you like some Egyptian Pie?
JILL: What's Egyptian pie?
LIL: You know, the kind mummy used to make.
What do cats call mice on skateboards?
"Meals on Wheels."
FUNNY FOOD RIDDLE:
What does the richest person in the world make for dinner every night?
What did one knife say to the other?
Did you hear the joke about oatmeal?
It's a lot of mush.
WORD OF MOUTH: Please tell your friends about this Web site and about my DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES Web site listed below.
Don't forget to check out my very popular DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES Web site: A 65-year plus collection by Daniel Worona. Just click on this "HOT" (active) link: http://danworona.50megs.com
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR sayings or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit. (Credits may be found on the FAVORITE LINKS PAGE.)
Are you hungry for more FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR? Please return again and again, because I will be adding FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR from time to time.
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" / "Rare Bird" (a.k.a. DaWor)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
This is a 65-year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published.
IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!
He has "searched the world" for more than 65-years for diet humor / humour, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons, and diet word plays. NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS NONESUCH DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.
This is the FATTEST and best diet humor / humour collection in the world!!!
TO MY ENGLISH FRIENDS:
Please e-mail me some BRITISH FOOD AND DRINK HUMOUR.
Please visist my DIET HUMOR AND CHOCOLATE HUMOR website: (The number one DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES website in the world): www.danworona.50megs.com
This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for twenty (20) consecutive years.
WORST CASE SCENARIO:
If for some reason my lifelong humongous collection of DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
Who loses? Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!
Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.
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