DRINK HUMOR

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FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR / HUMOUR & JOKES: a 65-year plus collection.

Compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis" / "RARE BIRD" (a.k.a. DaWor)


1. Q: Where do ghosts make their beer?

    A: At the boo-ery!

2. Old age lament: TOO MANY YEARS, TOO MANY BEERS.

3. IF YOU DRINK TOO MUCH WINE, THE NEXT MORNING YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF GRAPES.

4. T-shirt: ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

5. DRINK JOKE:
WAITER: WOULD YOU CARE FOR RED OR WHITE WINE?
CUSTOMER: IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'M COLOR BLIND.

6. HE IS A VERY LIGHT DRINKER. HE ONLY WEIGHS A HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS.

7. SOME OF THE SOFT DRINKS SOLD TODAY HAVE SO MANY CHEMICALS IN THEM YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY THEM WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION.

NOTE: I do not condone alcohol abuse. If you have non-alcoholic drink humor jokes, please e-mail them to me.



 


HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT MY HUMONGOUS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION?

DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES: a 65-year plus collection by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis."

Have you visited my DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES Web site? It is #1 on GOOGLE, YAHOO, and all of the other major HONEST search engines. 

Click on this "HOT" (active link):  http://www.danworona.50megs.com

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for twenty (20) consecutive years.






THIRST THOUGHTS:

Q: WHAT'S THE BEST THING TO PUT IN AN ICE CREAM SODA?

A: A STRAW!



LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND, AND SO DOES A GOOD STIFF DRINK.



LIQUID DIET JOKE:

SOME MEN WOULD LIVE STRICTLY ON A LIQUID DIET IF IT WEREN'T FOR PRETZELS AND PEANUTS.



SODA RIDDLE:

 Q: What do you call the study of soda?

 A:  Fizz-ics.



 DRINK JOKE:


Q: Why did the lady love to drink hot chocolate?

A: Because she was a cocoanut!



 COW JOKEFOR KIDS:

 Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?

A: The farmer had cold hands.



 MILK JOKE:

 Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?

A: A milk dud.



 COW RIDDLE:

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?

A: Because they always get milked dry.



 MILK JOKE:

Q: What does an invisible man drink?

A: Evaporated milk.



 ALASKA JOKE:

 Q: What do you get from an Eskimo cow?

A: Ice Cream.



THIS JOKE WILL KNOCK YOU OVER.

KNOCK, KNOCK JOKE:

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Kenya.

Kenya who?

Kenya get me a soda? I’m thirsty!



Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.



FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR compiled by Daniel Worona.

FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR.

If you have any FOOD SAYINGS, FOOD JOKES, DRINK SAYINGS, DRINK JOKES,  DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES, or any food related humor you would like to share, please e-mail them to me.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com

(Please include the words FOOD HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail.)




BOO HOO HOO!!!: I have no one in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU! Please tell your friends about my FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR,  my DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES,and my MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR Web sites. Via "WORD OF MOUTH" someone, someday, will take notice.

My humor collections are INIMITABLE!!!

You will be duly rewarded with thousands of laughs when my humor books get published. Thank you.  



Please visist my DIET HUMOR AND CHOCOLATE HUMOR website: (The number one DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES website in the world): www.danworona.50megs.com 

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for twenty (20) consecutive years.




FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR

My FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR, FOOD JOKES, DRINK JOKES, DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES, USA HUMOR, and MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR covers more than sixty-five years.



My humongous DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES website: a 65-year plus collection is #1 on Google, Yahoo, and most of the HONEST major search engines.

 

To see why it is #1 click on this "HOT" (active) link: http://www.danworona.50megs.com

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for nearly twenty (20) years.



WARNING: More hilarious humor ahead.





FOOD AND DIET HUMOR compiled by Daniel Worona. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these sayings or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit.(Credits may be found on the FAVORITE LINKS PAGE.)


Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

(Please include the words food humor OR drink humor OR DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, othwise it will be deleted and unread.)

If any of the active ("HOT") e-mail links do not work, please use your regular e-mail service.



1.THEY SAY WHISKEY AND GASOLINE DON'T MIX.
THEY DO BUT IT TASTES LOUSY.
2. ABSINTHE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER. (pun)



DRINK JOKES FOR KIDS DRINK JOKE #1. Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: SCARE IT! 
 
2. Q: Where can you get milkshakes?
A: FROM NERVOUS COWS! 

3. Q: Which is the funniest soda?
A: JOKE-A-COLA! 



I HAVE A "GOLDMINE" OF DIET HUMOR AND DIET JOKES, HOWEVER, THIS COLLECTION WILL REMAIN "BURIED" UNTIL IT IS PROPERLY PUBLISHED IN BOOK FORM.


A BIG THANKY, Daniel Worona  (SEE NOTE AND HOT LINK TO MY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE DOWN BELOW.)



FUNNY RIDDLE:

Q: What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is filled with "t"?

A: A teapot.



BAR JOKES:

 ALCOHOL JOKE:

I’m one drink away from telling everyone what I really think.



FUNNY WINE JOKE:

I drink wine because I don’t like to keep things bottled up.



ALCOHOL DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT JOKE:

Alcohol does not make you FAT...

It makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.



FUNNY DRINK QUOTE:

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

--Nancy Astor



THE ROMAN NUMERALS TWO FINGER JOKE:

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, “Sir, can I have five beers please.”



PLEASE VISIT MY NUMBER ONE RATED DIET HUMOR WEBSITE:

HOORAY FOR ME!!! I now have thousands and thousands of DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and  the collection is growing fatter each day. I is a lifelong collection of 65-years plus compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis" (RARE BIRD).

 Plus-plus thousands of ORIGINAL diet humor sayings, diet ditties, diet jokes and quotes, obesity jokes, and fat jokes by Daniel L. Worona "RaraAvis" (RARE BIRD).


A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA

(PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.)


CLICK ON THIS HOT LINK TO VISIT MY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE:

http://www.danworona.50megs.com



PLEASE TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR WEBSITE:

REMEMBER: The longer it takes for me to find a publisher, the longer you will have to wait, and wait, and WEIGHT to enjoy all of my FOOD AND DRINK SAYINGS and  JOKES: a 65-year plus collection.



COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rare Bird"

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.



He has "searched the world" for more than 65-years for diet humor / humour, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons,  and  diet word plays.

NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS NONESUCH DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.

This is the FATTEST and best diet humor / humour collection in the world!!!


WORST CASE SCENARIO:

If for some reason my lifelong collection of DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?  Not me!   YOU DO!!!   BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.