CANDY and DESSERT HUMOR

FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR & JOKES: a 50-year plus collection of more than 100,000 sayings and jokes compiled by Daniel Worona. Much of this collection has never been published and/or is original material by Daniel Worona.
CANDY HUMOR + CANDY JOKES + DESSERT HUMOR = DESSERT JOKES = HIGH-CALORIE LAUGHS.

Name of a candy bar: SMILE-A WHILE.

Please e-mail me comments and FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR.

Please e-mail me: dworona@yahoo.com
(Please include the words FOOD HUMOR in the Subject line.)

CANDY AND DESSET HUMOR and JOKES:

PIECE OUT!

1. Q: What happens when you eat too much candy?
A: It makes you THICK to your stomach.

2. Q: What do they call a man who abandoned his diet?
A: DESSERTER.

3. Ice cream is exquisite... --what a pity it isn't illegal.

4. The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.

5. A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

6. Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley's death? --BEN and JERRY.

7. Don't eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won't be able to budge. --Daniel Worona "The Candyman"

8. You know you're a mom if... Popsicles have become a staple food.

9. Mexican candy makes my taste buds say "OLE!"

10. FORGET LOVE... I'D RATHER FALL IN CHOCOLATE.

11. Dieters are being advised to avoid drinking Pepsi, "THE PAUSE THAT REFLESHES."

YUCKS 'N SHUCKS: CANDY JOKE FOR KIDS:

Q: WHAT COUNTRY DID CANDY COME FROM?
A: SWEETEN.
LITERARY AGENT WANTED: MUST BE HONEST, HAVE A "CENTS" OF HUMOR, AND A PROVEN TRACK RECORD. (You will find a special link for LITERARY AGENTS on my FAVORITE LINKS PAGE.)
More than 100,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES: a 50-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona.
MY INIMITABLE DIET HUMOR WEBSITE HAS BEEN NUMBER ONE (#1) FOR MANY MOONS NOW. NEED I SAY MORE?

MEANWHILE, THE COOK (THAT'S ME) WILL BE COOKING UP SOME MORE DIETING, CANDY, DESSERT ,FOOD, DRINK, AND CHOCOLATE HUMOR.
To visit my DIET HUMOR Web site, click here: http://www.danworona.50megs.com
(To return to this FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR Web site, just go to MY FAVORIT LINKS page, and click on the FOOD ND DRINK HUMOR link.)

GOING IN FOR THE KILL.

COPYRIGHT 1949-2009 by DANIEL L. WORONA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Please visit my world-famous DIET HUMOR Web site. It is number one on all the major honest search engines: www.danworona.50megs.com
Halloween joke for the kids:
Q: What's a ghost's favorite food?
A: I-scream.
COPYRIGHT 1949-2009 by DANIEL L. WORONA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
(This is a forty-five year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published. IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!)

1. Dairy store sign: YOU CAN'T BEAT OUR MILK, BUT YOU CAN LICK OUR ICE CREAM.

2. What do diet dropouts in San Antonio, Texas yell?
A: REMEMBER THE A LA MODE!

3. DESSERT PUN, PLAY ON WORDS:
Q: How long does it take a diet dropouts to eat dessert?
A: They usually take two or three seconds.

4. CANDY RIDDLE:
Q: Do you know the difference between a candy bar and a rotten banana?
A: You don't know? Good. Then you eat the banana.

5. DESSERT RIDDLE:
Q: Why did the plump lady eat a whole bag of broken cookies?
A: Because she was feeling crummy.

6. The word CANDY can be spelled using just two letters. Can you figure out how?

The answer is: C and Y.

7. CHOCOLATE IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY, AND YOU DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT.

8. THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FRIEND, EXCEPT A GOOD FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE.

9. CHOCOLATE DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND... BUT IT CERTAINLY MAKES THE RIDE WORTHWHILE.

10. ON YOUR BIRTHDAY: COUNT BLESSINGS, NOT CALORIES.

11. IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS.

12. Quote from Mary-Kate Olsen (THE THIN TWIN): I'M AN ICE-CREAM --ANY FLAVOR.

13. If "IFS" and "BUTS" were candy and nuts, we'd all have fruitcake for Christmas.

14. THIS CANDY BAR TASTES EXACTLY LIKE NO OTHER.

15. Q: What do you get when you eat sweets on the beach?
A: Sandy candy.

16. CANDY JOKE:
Friend: I heard you eat very little candy?
Chubby boy: That's right, because big candy gets stuck in my throat.

Please send me some of your favorite candy sayings and jokes.

My e-mail is dworona@yahoo.com (Please include the words CANDY HUMOR in the Subject line.)