CANDY and DESSERT HUMOR

Home Page | FOOD HUMOR | DRINK HUMOR | COFFEE HUMOR | BARBECUE (BBQ) HUMOR | CANDY and DESSERT HUMOR | CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS | DaWor | Favorite Links Page

FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR & JOKES: a 55-year plus collection.

Compiled by Daniel Worona.

Much of this collection has never been published and/or  is Woriginal original material by Daniel Worona.


CANDY HUMOR + CANDY JOKES + DESSERT HUMOR = DESSERT JOKES = HIGH-CALORIE LAUGHS.

 


Name of a candy bar: SMILE-A WHILE.


Please e-mail me comments and FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

(Please include the words FOOD HUMOR in the Subject line.)



CANDY AND DESSET HUMOR and JOKES:
PIECE OUT!

1. Q: What happens when you eat too much candy?
A: It makes you THICK to your stomach.

2. Q: What do they call a man who abandoned his diet?
A: DESSERTER.

3. Ice cream is exquisite... --what a pity it isn't illegal.

4. The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.

5. A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

6. Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley's death?  --BEN and JERRY.

7. Don't eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won't be able to budge.  --Daniel Worona "The Candyman"

8. You know you're a mom if... Popsicles have become a staple food.

9. Mexican candy makes my taste buds say "OLE!"

10. FORGET LOVE... I'D RATHER FALL IN CHOCOLATE.

11. Dieters are being advised to avoid drinking Pepsi, "THE PAUSE THAT REFLESHES."



 




YUCKS 'N SHUCKS:
CANDY JOKE FOR KIDS:

Q: WHAT COUNTRY DID CANDY COME FROM?
A: SWEETEN.

LITERARY AGENT WANTED: MUST BE HONEST, HAVE A "CENTS" OF HUMOR, AND A PROVEN TRACK RECORD. 

Please e-mail me for further information. 


More than 250,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES: a 55-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona.

MY INIMITABLE DIET HUMOR WEBSITE HAS BEEN  NUMBER ONE  (#1) FOR MANY MOONS NOW. NEED I SAY MORE? 

MEANWHILE, THE COOK (THAT'S ME) WILL BE COOKING UP SOME MORE DIETING, CANDY, DESSERT ,FOOD, DRINK, AND CHOCOLATE HUMOR.

To visit my DIET HUMOR Web site, click here: http://www.danworona.50megs.com 

(To return to this FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR Web site, just go to MY FAVORIT LINKS page, and click on the FOOD ND DRINK HUMOR link.) 



 


GOING IN FOR THE KILL. COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Please visit my world-famous DIET HUMOR Web site. It is number one on all the major honest search engines:
www.danworona.50megs.com

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for nearly fifteen (15) years.



Halloween joke for the kids:

Q: What's a ghost's favorite food?

A: I-scream.

COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
(This is a fifty-five year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published.

IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!






1.

Dairy store sign: YOU CAN'T BEAT OUR MILK, BUT YOU CAN LICK OUR ICE CREAM. 

2. What do diet dropouts in San Antonio, Texas yell?
A: REMEMBER THE A LA MODE!

3. DESSERT PUN, PLAY ON WORDS:
Q: How long does it take a diet dropouts to eat dessert?
A: They usually take two or three seconds.

4. CANDY RIDDLE:
Q: Do you know the difference between a candy bar and a rotten banana?
A: You don't know? Good. Then you eat the banana.

5. DESSERT RIDDLE:
Q: Why did the plump lady eat a whole bag of broken cookies?
A: Because she was feeling crummy.

6. The word CANDY can be spelled using just two letters. Can you figure out how?

The answer is: C and Y.

7. CHOCOLATE IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY, AND YOU DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT.

8. THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FRIEND, EXCEPT A GOOD FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE.

9. CHOCOLATE DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND... BUT IT CERTAINLY MAKES THE RIDE WORTHWHILE.

10. ON YOUR BIRTHDAY: COUNT BLESSINGS, NOT CALORIES.

11. IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS.

12. Quote from Mary-Kate Olsen (THE THIN TWIN): I'M AN ICE-CREAM --ANY FLAVOR.

13. If "IFS" and "BUTS" were candy and nuts, we'd all have fruitcake for Christmas.

14. THIS CANDY BAR TASTES EXACTLY LIKE NO OTHER.

15. Q: What do you get when you eat sweets on the beach?
A: Sandy candy.

16. CANDY JOKE: 
Friend: I heard you eat very little candy?
Chubby boy: That's right, because big candy gets stuck in my throat.


He has "searched the world" for more than 55-years for diet humor / humour, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons,  and  diet word plays.
NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS  DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.
This is the FATTEST and best diet humor / humour collection in the world!!!

WORST CASE SCENARIO:

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?  Not me!   YOU DO!!!   BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.

SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. 


MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:
Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.